Just in time for Steven Spielberg’s inevitable summer blockbuster, Destroy All Humans bring back all the campy fun of flying saucers and alien destruction without having to put up with Tom Cruise. Fans of 50s sci-fi B-movies, Ed Wood cult flicks, and more current movies like Mars Attacks will have a hard time not enjoying the flavor and sense of humor presented in this game. However, a few problems with the gameplay and technical issues keep this good game from being great.

Reversing the typical role of humans on a quest to save earth, Destroy All Humans, as the name might suggest, puts you in the role of an alien bent on human destruction. The game is set in the idealistic world of the 1950s, when drive-thru movies and Eisenhower reigned supreme. The game stars Crypto (or one of his clones, depending on how often you die), a “Furon” alien on a mission to harvest human brains in search of Furon DNA. You see, long ago humans were implanted with Furon DNA. The Furons, who clone rather than reproduce, are degenerating with every successive clone, and need the fresh DNA in order to survive. It us up to you, as Crypto, to research the earthlings and retrieve the fresh DNA.



Crypto himself is an entertaining lead character, containing more than a little dose of Jack Nicholson, and perpetually disgusted at the simplistic human species. Much of the game consists of Crypto lamenting the stupidity of these 50s hayseeds and their barbaric ways. This interaction provides a great deal of entertainment, and the game’s charm is definitely its biggest asset. Crypto relishes in the havoc he creates with his flying saucer, and also has many land-based weapons with which to torment the humans; the most blatantly humorous of which is the anal probe gun. You see, collecting the DNA from human brains is the big goal of the game, and this can be done in many ways. You can kill the human by zapping him or using your telekinesis to slam him/her into something. Then, you must extract the brain. However, using the anal probe gun is quicker and much more entertaining. Simply pull back on the R trigger to power up the gun, aim, and shoot. The velocity with which the “probe” strikes the human will cause the brain to shoot out of his head.

Another amusing aspect of the game is the ability, and in some cases the requirement to read the thoughts of humans. Although many of the thoughts are repeated quite frequently, references to 50s culture and ideals are generally very entertaining. Crypto is also required to sometimes read the thoughts of humans for one of two reasons. The first reason is to simply gain clues to his mission. For example, if Crypto is in search of the Mayor of a town, reading the thoughts of some of the town’s citizens will often yield results. The second reason comes into play with Crypto’s ability to create a holograph of a human using his “holobob” gun. In order to energize his hologram and therefore not cause alarm Crypto must read minds. The way authorities are alerted in Destroy All Humans is quite similar to that of Grand Theft Auto in that it happens in degrees. Crypto first alerts regular citizens, then police, then National Guard, and finally the entire military is after him. By using the holobob weapon, you can successfully avoid these hassles.

The GTA similarities don’t end there. As you progress through the game, new areas are open to explore, and each of them begin with a main mission. Once the main mission is completed, you are free to explore that area – be it a town, farm, state fair, etc. – in any way you see fit. You can take on side-quests or simply hop in your spacecraft and blow stuff up. Unfortunately, the side-quests generally aren’t all that enjoyable, and serve only to earn more DNA. You use DNA as a form of currency with which to upgrade your weapons and your ship. Normally, this would make the side quests a bit more useful. However, you can also just walk around town anal probing citizens. Even easier, you can simply run to the nearest cow pasture and collect cow brains without having to worry about alerting the authorities. The only downfall of this is that human brains, especially those of authority figures, generally yield more DNA. Upgrading, however, is quite necessary, especially as you reach the final stages where more complex enemies abound.

The biggest problem with Destroy All Humans is when one notices the potential that wasn’t reached. Namely, the game could have provided a host of cool alien weaponry, a la Ratchet and Clank. It could have contained more in-depth interaction with the townspeople, such as the ability to take part in conversations when incognito. The saucer, especially, could have been a lot more impressive and had many more capabilities beyond simply traveling on a single plane and zapping things. And finally, the missions themselves could have been much less linear and scripted.

There are other issues that one could complain about, such as the fact that while Crypto is able to disintegrate the entire human population, being spotted by agents will instantly end his mission. However, if you keep in mind the campy spirit with which this game was created, and the cheesy movies that served as its inspiration, it shouldn’t be too difficult to suspend disbelief.



As mentioned, the game is presented as a tribute to those great 50s sci-fi flicks, and it succeeds in a big way. The corny dialogue, the absurdly clueless earthlings, and the over-the-top government agents all lend to this success. However, as mentioned, some of the dialogue is repeated a bit too frequently. As you wander the town scanning minds, you’ll hear the same lines repeated over and over again. Graphically, the game suffices, but certainly doesn’t excel in any way. Character models are blocky and awkward looking, and the levels can appear grainy at times. That being said, the sets themselves are interesting and laid out well. From carnivals to drive-thru theaters to suburban wastelands, Pandemic has done a great job capturing the feel of those old movies. It’s just a shame that these sets weren’t more interactive and you’re never actually able to go inside the buildings, ride on the carnival rides, or see an actual film playing on the screen.

These sorts of missed opportunities are what eventually hurt Destroy All Humans in the end and make it an above average game. However, it’s still worth playing, due to the incredible charm of its characters and the subject matter. Hopefully the game sells well enough to warrant a sequel, because we’d love to see what it could do with a little more time and imagination.



Article By: John