Week of 3/16/2008

Friggin' Snow

Remember a few weeks back, just as March was beginning, when I said that this is the worst month of the year because it'll get your hopes up with a few days of gorgeous weather only to crash a pile of snow on you?

For the past two days it was a beautiful 55 degrees. And for my friends in the south: after six months of hideous, sub-zero weather, yes, 55 degrees seems tropical. The snow was almost gone. My yard consisted of a few small piles at the end of the driveway and some lingering white shit under my trees. Hell, I wore shorts! And, like a fool, I hoped that I had seen the last of this snow until next fall.

This morning, I woke up to find this outside my back door:





And this outside my front door:



Now you may be thinking, "But John, that looks absolutely beautiful!" And to that I simply respond, "Kill yourself."

Why the fuck do I live here?

John



Jerkoff

I took my mother-in-law to the airport today, which is the epilogue to the story I told a few weeks back. Everything went off without a hitch except for the parking. The Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport has two terminals, the Lindbergh and the Humphrey. Her flight left at the Lindbergh, but because parking at that terminal was full I had to drop her off and park at the Humphrey. After I parked, I got out of the car and began walking. As I approached a Hummer parked just down the way from me, I noticed a sticker on the side of the car. It was in an odd place and didn't look like a bumper sticker, so being curious I checked it out. As it turns out, someone had placed a "Hello! My Name is:" sticker on the side of this hummer and wrote "Global Warming!" in the blank space. When put together ("Hello! My Name is Global Warming!") this sticker probably made for a nice little statement to some environmentally-minded activist.

But I didn't see it that way.

I saw it as some fucking jerkoff wanting to shove his/her thumb up somebody's ass for not being as earth-conscious as he/she is. And that person probably makes a habit of carrying around these little "Hello! My Name is:" stickers just so s/he can get that smug feeling of accomplishment, and probably superiority. That s/he is sending a message to straighten up and get with the fucking program.

Things like this fucking enrage me. And it doesn't matter what side it's on; I hate activists of any type. I just want people to leave me the fuck alone and leave everybody else alone. Mind your god-damned business and shut your mouth. And yeah, I know the comeback: But John, if we don't stand up and do something, how are we ever going to change? You know what? I don't care. Shit happens.

And for all I - or the Statement-Maker - knew, that Hummer could be running on bio-diesel. It reminded me of the story I read about Neil Young and his Hummer that ran on vegetable oil. He commented that he had a run-in with an activist who started berating him for driving a Hummer. She clammed up really quick when he explained he was getting better gas-mileage than she was.

So I thought of all this as I walked passed the Hummer - which, yes, I'm sure is owned by some yuppie douche bag with a tiny penis - and I yanked off the sticker, crumpled it up, and muttered, "Jerkoff" under my breath.

And yes, Mr. Environmental Activist, I threw the sticker in the next trash bin. Fuck you.

Let's do some mail...

RE: The Juice

This shit is phenominal. Quite possibly the first time I have ever turned down a pepsi or a beer in favor of juice. This stuff rocks. Thank you for showing me the light.
-Jarrod

Ladies and Gentlemen, I don't lie. There is no doubt that shit is the best fruit juice ever created. However, on my last trip to the grocery store it was *gasp!* gone! Now I'm not sure if it was just out of stock, but it had been replaced by a pomegranate tea. So I purchased the tea and am sad to report that it's not nearly as delicious. Hopefully it'll be there next time I go.

RE: Pinball Tables

John,

Get a pinball machine. Do it. They've been doing what the Wii did for decades before the Wii - People see them and want to play them. Period.

Pinball machines don't even need to be powered up to make people want to play. They kick butt just being there, because they're physical. You can see the level even when powered off!

I went through an ebay pinball frenzy in 2001-2002 and bought and sold about 10 machines when they were real bargains.

I have 5 now, that are the keepers. Like video games, pinball tables have designers, and my favorite designer is Steve Ritchie. I have collected these tables and keep them in my modest apartment:

Black Knight
Black Knight 2000
High Speed II the Getaway
Star Trek The Next Generation
No Fear (cringe)

Ebay prices are crazy these days, but were quite good in 2000. Midwest gaming classic sounds like a sales show, so it could be bad for prices there. Shop the operator auctions... Wait, there aren't many of those left. And I'm geeking when I should be playing G Darius.

But you won't regret buying a pinball machine, trust me.

Can't wait for part 3 of the Shmopra. You guys are channeling Pete Townshend when he gave a shit.

SpaceBot Vs The Pilot already kicks Wire & Glass's ass.

Transmission Clear
Mike / Odo Lives

Having just purchased Pinball Hall of Fame: The Williams Collection, I'm really jonesing for some good pinball. Making life even more dangerous for me is the fact that I'll be driving a very large cargo van with plenty of room in it to the Midwest Gaming Classic. We'll see how frisky I am when I get there...

Let me also clarify that MGC is much, much more than a "sales" show. Sure, there are plenty of things to purchase there, but there are also tons of other things going on like speakers, exhibits, free-play, and of course The Midwest Game-Show Classic hosted by Team Fremont. Be there or be...square.

RE: Malaise

Everyone gets kind of off-groove every once in a while. My favorite solution is a vacation. Usually in the form of a long motorcycle cruise with my dad and some friends.

Perhaps try and take your family camping, relax and read a good book out in the quiet wilderness, or... Whatever your vacation preference may be. Could help =)
-Arvandor

I hear you, man. Unfortunately, a "real" vacation isn't in the cards until late summer/early fall. However, as soon as this cursed snow melts Christine, Ethan, and I are headed up to Lake Superior for some seclusion and R&R during an extended weekend. It's just a matter of getting there, as we just got another dumping of that horrible white shit. Thanks for your thoughts.

And that's all for today.

John